So the new year has arrived,in some respects I was quite sorry to say goodbye to 2012. It was a good year for me in many ways. Clear scans therefore no cancer or surgery! My 6th grandchild and only grandaughter was born. I also got to meet some amazing people.
I know I've said it before but going to Beating Bowel cancers patient day was one of the best things I have done. The people I met through that day and since on twitter and facebook have given me a new outlook on life.
The scars that cancer leaves behind physically, emotionally and physiologically can not be felt or understood unless you have been there. Not to be judged or berated for having one of 'those days' is amazing. Once you have had cancer you can understand and feel other cancer patients highs and lows. We have all been on the same journey except our paths have taken different routes.
Last week I started a Macmillan survivorship course. We were asked what was the hardest choice we had made through cancer, for me it was going for genetic counselling and now waiting for results. yet again the tears fell, but not only me, others also got emotional and the tissues were passed round the table as they told of their choices.So emotionally am I completely over this whole journey, simple answer . . NO!
Every day I hear about people that are in pain, even though they are free from cancer. Whether it be from neuropathy caused by chemo or scar tissue,adhesions or damage from surgery or radiotherapy. So the aftermath of having had cancer begins.
The fact that maybe years on you, like I am,are suffering,especially in this cold weather,from neuropathy in hands and feet, That sometimes because of this you may get up from a chair and have a 'drunken stumble' or take something out of the fridge or freezer and nearly drop it because it hurt your hands.
Or perhaps you like me are in almost constant pain as a result of damage caused by surgery. I didnt expect to be on pain killers indefinitely and I'm sure some of you didnt expect it either!
I didnt have radiotherapy so I cant comment on it, but I know there a lot of you who do suffer as a result of having it. So physically is my journey over . . .NO!
Off course weighing up the pros and cons, treatment against no treatment, there really is only one answer . . .Yes. There are too many people that dont get that choice.
Its so wonderful to hear of people going back too work. Maybe one day it will be my turn, sadly not my old job but maybe somewhere there is a little niche for me.
Ideally I would like to start selling some of my craft makes so need to look into that.
So there we are a little insight into how I see some things. I dont expect everyone to agree with me.Maybe it might help someone out there who feels they're the only one going through pain or still struggling with accepting their diagnosis.
Just remember we're in this together.
One for all and all for one x
